Life

We walk towards and run away from it without complete understanding. We want and yet it always remains out of our reach. Betrayal is the bittersweet of life, yet we fear it the most. I embrace it! Betrayal has become my motivation and my companion that leaves me on the edge looking over the cliff to find another path to walk down.

It is time for the new path to begin. The players are not the same, some have died in my mind and some have gotten too tired to carry on with me. Some of the players have found a new direction and we have had to say goodbye.

This new path is completely different than the last one because the scenery is strange and refreshing. I am at the edge of the forest and the path is barely visible. I must create it. What will I be stepping into? The scent is strangely familiar, maybe it is my mind holding on tight to the remnants of what could have been with you by my side.

The dreams we use to talk about, the hopes for a future bright with possibility linger in the air, I must move down my new path in order to escape their haunting. What was can not be and what is, at this moment is bittersweet medicine.

Life, the choices we make shape our path and our path has been divided and I can no longer reach you and you can no longer reach me, however, that is okay because the wisdom I have gained from loving you will stay with me for eternity and I will use it to better stable my footsteps.

I feel the serge of power coming back into my spirit, thus giving me the hope I thought was gone forever when you chose your destiny. I am able to smile and remove the mask of sadness that was consuming my spirit. I feel the power of life filling me up and the desire to soar is lifting me into new possibilities.

Life, love, and a new hand to reach out and enjoy the view is in my sight. I take this time of healing to create new dreams and desires that I will share with anew. I anticipate the touch of newness and I smile because I know and he knows it was always going to be, it is the childhood dream blossoming into a reality that will break through the torment of each day.

Time to say Goodbye

When is it that we can say goodbye? When is it that the relationship dies? I wonder if I can hang on. What screams inside is my love is gone. Every time, your betrayal kisses my lips, every time I tear because another has captured you time, everytime you say you won't do it again, that is when my love for you ends.

I have struggled with the torment too long, my self esteem has been shattered. I didn't want to come to this, your actions have stolen my life's bliss. You want me to forgive you one more time, here is the problem, forgivens has died and your apologies are empty. I am screaming inside, yet you can not see. Alone in my missery, I have been betrayed once more. I ask you to leave and you say you won't and you say that we can work this out. What you don't know is that your betrayal has put my spirit's fire out. You have made me tired and weak, too fragile to fight.

You have cut me deep, and I have not been able to heal. Frustration I see in the mirror is real. I don't trust my thoughts, my feelings aren't true. Your betrayal has robbed me of my dignity too. I can't go back anymore.

Friendships

Today has been one of those days, where I take stock of who and how I have gained the friends I have. What can I say to a friend who has heard something life altering? How can I tell you I am feeling your fear, I appreciate your numbness and confusion? I listen and think of what I want to do and what I can do. Like a snake bite I wish I could extract the venum that has invaded your spirit causing this fear and anxiety to tarnish your spirit. I sit here wondering if my words are futile, or will something I say spark the light that I know you have.

Friendship is a funny word, said with so much emotion that silently blankets you who I extend the title to. This blanket that has created from time, desire, and experiences I can only pray provides you with the warmth that only you can draw on. I am here with miles between us, my spirit soars and stays by your side.

Time may seem to carry a heaviness of uncertainty, however I wish you the certain love that has been woven into our blanket that I have so tenderly called friendship. Carry it with you and share it with those you deem worthy. Letting your experience weave the fibers of strength, the colours of wisdom, and the softness of hope to keep you warm.

Friendship is more then a thought, it is what binds us to each other making each reality more bearable then the time before.